I am lice-free, consistently tired, and HOME home.
After three days of traveling, processing, and saying the last of my goodbyes, I am back in a familiar place, surrounded by people I love and have missed a lot. It’s been quite the journey and culture shock is as frustrating as was expected: the news on TV is ridiculous and upsetting, I have way too many clothes in my closet, this culture is particularly loud, etc. Regardless, I’m blessed to be with my family again, glad to have toilet paper, sleep in a bed with clean sheets, and drink slow-drip coffee. It feels good to be here, right where I am.
I wanted to write about my last week in Thailand, while it's still fresh, and tell you about this Calcutta that I found there. The opportunity to go to a refugee camp kinda fell into my lap and materialized during the last few days I was at Musekee. A handful of students were staying on post-program and stumbled upon this option. I really had no idea what we would be doing at this refugee camp; each of us knew little about the Karen-Burmese civil war that has caused so many refugees in the last fifty years. Each of us had a bus ticket, a feeling that God wanted us to be there, and a peace about not knowing. We assumed we would be teaching English and play with kids and be available to do whatever needed to be done. Little did we know, however, when we were driving into the camp and passing thousands upon thousands of bamboo huts packed together on every square inch of land for a few miles, that our lives would be deeply changed by what we saw, who we met, and what we heard.
My prayer for the week was that God would show me exactly what I needed to see. And I saw brokenness. And I saw relentless hope. I saw poverty. And I saw hospitality. I saw hate. And I saw the transforming love of God. I saw serious physical needs. And I saw miraculous provision. I saw heartbreak after heartbreak. And I saw unshakeable people of faith. A friend said to me that Jesus hangs out in refugee camps. And Jesus was at Mae La, in the faces and voices and stories of the people I met. He was holding the orphans and comforting the blind men. His words were painted on walls and his promises were memorized and repeated. We quickly learned, in this set-apart place, that Jesus was not telling us to “do things”. Ours was a ministry of presence; we ended up becoming listeners and watchers and prayer partners and recorders, asked questions and interviewed the people who lived at Mae La and had experienced far more than anyone ever should.
Burmese people and the Karen (which is an indigenous people group who make up a chunk of Burma’s population) have never gotten along. There has always been tension and much racism between the two people groups. In the last fifty years, since Burma’s independence from Great Britain, there has been increasing hate between the two, which has inevitably erupted in a civil war. Under the oppressive military regime, members of the SPDC (Burma’s military), frequently visit the Karen State and burn down entire villages, use various forms of torture, and rape and murder Karens in an effort to wipe them out. Thousands of people have fled and continue to flee Burma and live in the jungles of Burma and Thailand as internally displaced persons. Others walk for weeks at a time to reach one of Thailand’s seven refugee camps. Still others live at refugee camps for years and eventually apply for resettlement and go to one of ten different countries who are accepting refugees. There are 140,000 refugees from the last fifty years of war. That’s 140,000 too many.
It was terrifying and humbling to learn the history of the conflict from the very people who have been most affected by it. We tried to meet as many people as possible, tried to get as many stories as possible and hear from those who have been silenced and herded into these camps to live in such poor conditions. We met bible students who travelled by foot for weeks to have the opportunity to escape and study theology and philosophy. We met orphans who drew pictures of their experiences and were horrified at the bloody images they recalled from their lives prior to coming to Mae La. We spent time at a Handicap Hospital where Karen men had been captured by the SPDC, used as porters to clear land mines and were seriously injured, most of them were blind.
It was so frustrating and almost paralyzing to feel so helpless in the face of such an enormous tragedy. I was so burdened by the things that I saw and continue to feel like God has given me a responsibility to speak, to share, to tell you about the people I met. In these next weeks - especially as hundreds of thousands of more people in Burma are impoverished and dying and the corruption of the junta is in the spotlight - I will be telling some stories, in the forms of letters and articles and pictures. So stay tuned.
In the meantime, please pray with me. I don’t know what to pray for and I often feel a loss of words these days (contrary to what this blog may portray). Peace that transcends understanding needs to show up in Burma. Love that conquers and freedom that releases and justice that makes things right needs to make an appearance. I don’t know what God is doing or what His will is for Burma, for Karen people, for their future, but I’m trusting that his plan is perfect. And I’m praying that something happens soon.
It was a unique way to spend my last days in Thailand. Certainly was a shocker going from a refugee camp to a ridiculously fancy hotel in Taipei. I miss Thailand and I miss my SST family and my host family and my Agape family. I miss my favorite spots, the green rice fields, the smells in the market, the sounds of Thai language. But I feel like the next step was to come back here and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, humbled and grateful to have family here, to have people to love and people who love me, and with a fresh perspective on what it is to live out hospitality, have enough, be free, and share in God’s heartbreak. Jesus has been so faithful to me. Check out what he's doing with the Free Burma Rangers: freeburmarangers.org and also check out what the US Campaign for Burma is doing, if you get the chance.
Okay friends, that's all for now. Thanks for reading and for caring - looking forward to reuning with you in the near future!
LOVE, me
