all things grow, all things grow

Thailand is a memory now, no matter how hard I try to recreate moments and reproduce faces in prayer. I think of Mai often, and Ben runs through my mind a lot. Faa has been on my heart all the time because of the deteriorating health of her father. Calls and messages from my teammates are encouragements of course, but as I continue to process through changes in me that are mostly because of my experiences in Thailand this summer, I'm continually faced with the question that seems to persistently present itself to me everyday: what are you going to do with that now? As I plow through my thoughts, flipping back on journal entries and prayers, the answer(s) become increasingly unclear. I feel like I'm on the brink of something. In the meantime, I'm moving on.

because

I'm in Philly, north Philly to be exact, in a sea of new experiences with a couple of good friends to be posts for me during these times of unnerving uncertainty. I fall asleep to the lull of cars, sirens, frat parties and I wake up to go to classes where I am a stranger and no one wants to know my name. Sociology of Race and Racism is fascinating and my class on international women's writing excites me, but learning the "philly attitude" that discourages smiling is taxing. Trying to figure out what it means to be like Jesus in this place (no matter how bad I am at even figuring out what that means) is a daily challenge. BUT God has surrounded me with a great group of brothers and sisters for this time in my life. When has He not provided that much for me?

In the meantime, I'm having a blast living it up philly style. There's an energy here that I've been craving for a long time. I'm so excited to see what's going to happen in these next months! Tomorrow, I have an interview with Women Against Abuse to see if I'll be able to volunteer with them for the semester. We'll see...

Some challenging words from Mother Teresa: "Once we take our eyes away from ourselves, from our interests, from our own rights, privileges, ambitions--then they will become clear to see Jesus around us."