a bit of an update

It’s harder to organize my thoughts lately -- a steady stream of them carries me in and out of days and makes long nights. I am on the brink of transition yet again, and I can almost taste the freedom that will come so soon. For now, I am plowing through, hanging on to my Habitat days as we race to the end. I am glad to end this job (because I’ve never been an office person, let’s be frank), but I will be sad to leave the people who have become daily parts of my life--the refining, encouraging, sometimes frustrating voices that have challenged and inspired me this year. Yes, I love these people dearly, and I will miss these humdrum days, wonder of wonders.

But I am moving forward -- in three weeks, I will be spending some time with other ragamuffins in Vancouver, to learn more about serving and loving among urban poor populations with good folks from Servants to Asia’s Urban Poor -- the organization I am seriously praying about returning to Thailand with. It is a journey, to be sure, praying through this opportunity and inviting people into this conversation. God has planted the least, the last, and the loneliest on my heart and grown in me a passion for Thailand and Southeast Asia. I am raising my sail everyday, attentive to the gusts, the doldrums, and the backward winds. Whatever the next step will be for me, I am ready to continue learning more about God’s heart for the dispossessed and the poor and how I can participate in God’s work here, wherever I am, with whatever I have.

But everything comes at once, and God is giving me the precious opportunity to pursue another dream of mine lately - a 30-day amtrak trip across the country. I’ve always wanted to see the country by train, to meet fellow travelers, and to engage the thing in me that loves movement and in-between time/space. I’ve been careful with my living stipend all year to collect enough cash to be able to go on this trip, and I feel deeply grateful to have this unique opportunity to sweep across, coast to coast, to share in the lives of people I love and the people I’ll meet and love. I want to see mountains and hear stories and eat local fare and have some transient days again. I don’t deserve this gift, but I receive it gladly.

God has been teaching me this year to be fully present and to be obedient to the tasks that God’s asking of me each day -- to be there to laugh and cry with friends and strangers, to find the bluest part of the sky, to savor the sweetness of each tomato, to play with abandon and laugh at myself, to see interruptions as important, to care for people, to love deeply, to share bread. This task was hard during the nine to five office days. I expect different challenges for the schedule-less, spontaneous, in-between days.

But for now, I am here -- I am running around with neighbor kids, opening in unclenched moments, eating brownies with roommates, wishing my friends Eid Mubarak, and resting in the deep deep love of Jesus.