walking to church

I walked to church Sunday morning. This city is not dead, I think to myself, taking care to notice every growing flower and weed peeking out of the cracks in the sidewalks, for every beer can I pass. The abandoned buildings have a beauty of their own. The early-birds walking around were “curious” to see me, I also noticed. I used to pride myself in the ability to blend in with others. Here, I’m learning, I am failing. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is that makes me stick out like a sore thumb, but I definitely do stick out. And I am also quickly learning the difference--and importance of knowing the difference--between good-friendly and bad-friendly. My neutral, all-purpose friendly disposition has to be tweaked a bit here. I can’t be anything/anyone that I am not, but I am in the process of learning my surroundings, the people in them, and how to interact best with both. So far it means refraining from indiscriminate smiling and graciously keeping my mouth closed when someone says something offensive to me. What is helpful? What is loving? What is safe? What is open-minded?