It's been a while. I’ve been well--a blur of blessings over Thanksgiving break, a haze of papers and tests and presentations and obligations this week, and current week of the same. Highlights, lately: the humbling privilege to speak about Burma to a rather large group of students wanting to learn about what’s going on there (and who really wanted chapel credit); meeting Thailand-friends Keith and Katie; the encouraging results of our Loose Change to Loosen Chains campaign that raised $2000 for IJM; a meaningful last day at OIC (the adult learning center); a holiday party for all of our wonderful neighbors; and my first experience at a house church yesterday.
The winds are changing; I can tell that I will be shivering until Spring. My thoughts have been digesting the obscure idea of commitment, of late. I don't make commitments easily, partially because I'm a college student and I'm terribly indecisive, but mostly because I'm a dabbler. I dabble in this and that, am part of this, choose to do that, normally taking on too many things at once. I float from this to that because I love to learn and I tend to seek new experiences and places. Call it generational, call it desireetional, I have this restlessness bug deep in me that informs many of the decisions I make/don't make.
And yet, unsurprisingly, I like to invest in people. Investing doesn't bode well for wanderers, I've discovered, causing some tension and a question that surfaces often: Is it worth it?--to invest, to care, to pour into people, a project, an idea knowing how temporary all of this is? The answer is always obviously and emphatically YES when I stop taking myself so seriously; nevertheless, I have my days of wondering what it will be like to one day find that thing--that group of people, that culture, that community, that ministry--that I can invest in and commit to. Next year, my neighbor Barb is going to be a memory, as will tutoring sessions with Kanti, dinners with housemates, time-consuming research papers on humanitarian crises, and coffee dates with Thailand friends. But for now, I will invest, I will pour into, I will write that research paper, I will learn the streets of Harrisburg, I will scrub the ever-dirty bathroom floor, I will drink tea with neighbors, I will bake cookies with friends, I will consider the lilies, and I will trust Jesus with all things silly and otherwise.
Martin Luther had some words: “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”
